Day 914: Sleep’s still an issue

All right, I’m working exercise and eating sensibly back into the routine — still have to get on that checklist — but sleep’s been bad lately again. Hopefully exercise will kick in and help with that.

My wife and I both have been talking about feeling scattered lately; for me, it’s been since the kidney stone and a bout with depression. On the whole, things are going great! I just have to remember that.

Day 474: The Uses of Downtime

I feel like I’m on the journey back up from the Valley of Meh — fingers are crossed but I’m not trying to get overconfident.

As mentioned previously and often, I’m on a track where I’m knocking out a few pretty major volunteer things right now. One is pretty much done, the other is an ongoing project that’ll take me into the summer and possibly beyond.

It’s all good, and it’s nice to see thing moving in an arc that ends with me able to try some new things by, ideally, midsummer. Hard to guarantee these things for myself, obviously, but good to think that I might have those opportunities.

One of the benefits of a week or so of feeling run down is I’ve committed, with my wife, to getting out of town. Just for day trips here and there in the summer, but it’s a smart move and I’m glad I’m doing it. I think changes of scenery are good, and if we can’t afford the time or money for a “real” vacation, quick escapes are the next best thing.

I hope I’m pretty much through this cyclical bout of downtime, but it does have its uses. I’m really re-evaluating what I want and don’t want to do from a more honest place than I can when I’m feeling up. Looking at what you’ve committed to and what you really feel committed to is something that has to be done at an ebb, because when you’re in flow, everything just feels like it’s doable and great.


Day 473: Staying Focused

It’s been challenging to stay on track this week — in fact, I think I can assert that I’ve been off-track with food, more or less okay with exercise. Sobriety has kind of gotten into my bones: I’ve been having a pretty flat/low week emotionally, but I haven’t even thought about drinking. It’s just coming up now because I was mentally running through the four pillars of exercise, food, sobriety and sleep.

It’s good to remind myself that this is periodic and cyclical, and one of the costs of being “up” and energetic most of the time is that I do hit these lulls.  It’s also kind of comforting to remember that. I don’t recall the last time I hit this kind of blah period — I feel like it was last November/December — but if the price to pay for being, well, me most of the time is being a little bit of a reduced me for a week or so periodically, I’m happy to pay it.

I’m choosing to look at this as a “charge cycle” rather than “something is wrong.” I run at 110% a lot of the time — I think I overachieve as a routine thing — so periodic drops down to, I don’t know, 60-70% are probably necessary.

At any rate, I’m in “ride this out” mode. Exercise was good this morning, and I’m feeling I think a little less meh than yesterday, so hopefully I’m turning the corner on this thing.

50% “ride it out,” 50% “fake it til you make it” — method acting also helps. If I can make myself act cheerful, I usually wind up feeling a bit more cheerful as well. So I’m’a grab a cup of joe and head briskly to work — seeming upbeat is often the key to feeling more upbeat.


Day 429: Mini-Slump

Another day of just feeling tired, and very poor food resistance yesterday. I think I’m hitting one of those cyclical slumps, and I need to cycle out of it.

The Catch-22 is it’s hard to do better when I’m tired, and doing better is what’s required to make me less tired.

I can accept that there are ebbs and flows, as well. Yesterday was not a great day; in this moment, at this hour, I feel like today is not going to be a great day, but it’s in my control to make it as good a day as possible.

So today’s goal is not to beat myself up for having a not great couple of days. I had a great February, and I’m going to have a great March. I just need to take a couple of days of slack to get some energy back up, I think.