Day 984: Insomnia!

HELLO OLD FRIEND.

So yes; sleep did not go well last night, and we’re back to sleeping late, up late, scrambling to get out the door and (the twist!) to class. The insomnia issue isn’t really that serious; I think sometimes my brain just looks for something to seize on and jumps on that train to see where it will take me.

I’m all good! And not worried about anything, really. Just an insomnia dealio. Off to do all the things!

Day 978: Up late, good row

Running a bit late today; some insomnia, but roused myself to feed the cats, back to bed, and up again for a solid row (music really helps! I don’t care if it’s a crutch!) and knocking this out before dashing to work. No time for bonus Dry and Mighty work today other than cursory looking at the alerts.

Still pretty jazzed up about it, and the LLM, and other things — work’s in a good groove right now, and I’m feeling like balance is attainable if I’m sensible about spending goodly free time keeping on top of studies and making some time for games, etc., but with intention instead of as a distraction.

Day 935: Amber Insomnia

Another rough night, this one again due to the gross misapplication of phone alert systems to Amber Alerts (a good summary of the problems with it, here) — no exercise this morning, just trying to get things going before a crew arrives to dig up the driveway due to a shared sewer issue (which in turn is causing financial stress).

The good news in all this? I think my equilibrium’s better than it was a while ago. I’m rolling with the financial punches fine, and the lack of sleep and exercise is a pain in the neck but it’s not causing the kind of anxiety it would have a while ago. Maybe I’ve come through the whole depressive episode in June more resilient than I was when it started? That’s a nice thing to think about.

Day 934: Exercisin’! Insomnia!

A good run this morning; not super long, but vigorous. Juust enough time for a bit more sleep before work; my groovy insomnia is back, not for any particularly bad reasons, just lots o’ thinking going on.

In the interest of writing something, the social media diet is now… I don’t know, over six months at least. It’s great! My relative level of jealousy and irritation with the world has diminished radically now that I’m not personally on Facebook, and I wasn’t much of an Insta person in the first place, or tweeter.

So that’s a thing. No Facebook! Feels good.

Day 923: BRÜTAL INSÖMNIA

Man! Insomnia! The weird thing about last night was I wasn’t stressed about anything; no work stress, no home stress, felt fine physically, it wasn’t hot as heck in the house, and I still kept waking up. Like every hour for 30 minutes. It was a crazy night.

So I’m up late, no exercise, striving to get it together and get out the door for the radio show. Short hello today. Hello!

Day 824: Up late, out of sequence!

Hello again, insomnia! We’ve had an entente but I see you’re back and ready to tussle.

Another “early insomnia” night last night; poor sleep and up late now trying to get it together. I’m knocking this out so I can go exercise, but I’m not thrilled about the moving-things-around part.

I kinda wish I’d kept track of insomnia back when I was drinking… it’d be interesting to see, in the distant rear-view mirror, whether drinking was something I was doing to attempt to self-medicate for that, somehow.

Day 796: Powerrrrring thrrrrrouuuggghhh

Insomnia! Powerful insomnia! Up like stupid late and running for the door, due partly to work stress and partly due to cats being bonkers. This is putting me off track, which is aggravating, but I’m trying to maintain the condition of “game” and stay positive and look for the creative/fun elements while powering through the sheer volume of STUFF going on.

It still looks and feels like this is a lot of establishing work, with major shifts in April as all the things being worked on now transitioning from planning to execution in the next 10 days and then a sudden lightening of the load. One hopes.

Day 786: Overwork

Yesterday was my third 10-hour day at work in two weeks, which is… not great. I keep telling myself the extra time in the evening will make things go easier the next day, but that never proves to be true.

That, of course, led to insomnia, so I’ve been up more or less since 1:30, stewing. Sometimes I can turn the sleeplessness into productive planning and setup for the next day, other times not — this was a “not” night.

“Manage work-life balance” was one of the big things for my year in January, and I’m struggling with it.

Day 758: Good Weight, Bad Sleep

Weight’s back on track — good willpower yesterday — but insomnia strikes again, with some work issues getting me up at 2 a.m. and not back to bed until around 4:30, and then in the guest room. Late sleep doesn’t mean not sticking to the Path, though, so it was just delayed cat feeding, the 10-minute exercise minimum (which, with weights, can feel like plenty) and now on to this.

Insomnia has definitely been on the uptick, after spending the first few weeks of 2019 sleeping like a baby. I ordered a book a while ago on it, but it seems to be stuck in shipping somewhere.

Snacking and sleep are the Achilles’ heels. There doesn’t seem to be a strong correlation, though; I would’ve expected a “insomnia leads to tiredness, leads to bad decisions,” (or the same thing, but with stress at both ends: stress is bad sleep, and stress is bad food) but that doesn’t happen with the food, just the sleep. It’s weird.

Day 713: Insommmniaaaaa

Ehhh, I was trying to find a good clip from the trailer for “Insomnia” but it turns out they don’t really talk that much about insomnia, mainly serial killing. Which is probably a good move, marketing-wise. 

Up since 2, it’s now 5 — this time it’s not even stress, just kind of interesting things rattling around in my head. It’s frustrating to me, and frustrating to my wife — my hope now is that Jerkpod will be a bit of an exorcism and I can grab a couple hours before going to do the radio show. 

700+ days ago I wouldn’t have said “sleep is the problem I must solve!” but I think it is — core motivation, and sleep. Sleep is definitely key!