Day 294: Lazy Sunday

It’s a late morning — partly because it was an early morning, and then I went back to bed. I sometimes get up early on Sundays, and watch movies my wife isn’t interested in. This morning it was Colossal.

I knew it was a weird indie monster movie comedy but I had no idea had a lot to say about alcohol, too. I’m trying to compress it into a booze metaphor, but I think that’s too easy. Good movie, though.

Starting the day on a movie about an alcoholic was kind of a weird beginning to it. Especially since yesterday was rougher than I thought, emotionally — frankly, it’s weird to be with drunk people when you’re sober. Sometimes more weird than others. And maybe I don’t deal as well with drunk people while sober as other sober people do.

But it stresses me out. Emotional unpredictability is hard for me to deal with normally, and alcohol turns that up about 1000 times. So I find myself crazy exhausted today — just wanting some peace and quiet and recharge time. Lots of yard work to do, and some schoolwork, which I think will be a good place for me to be today.

I feel like a bit of a wimp talking about this. “Not being drunk is hard! Waaah!” But it’s the truth of my situation. I’m not the world’s best person at dealing with emotion normally. Slam those levers into the red and roll dice every five minutes and I’m just not the right person for that job.

So I’m going to have to talk to my wife about this. I don’t think she drinks too much by normal standards, but she does get really drunk when she drinks, and it’s hard on me. I thought it wouldn’t be, but it is.



Day Ninety-Six: Pain Points

Pain points spring to mind because my back hurts from rowing. Stretching helps, but I’m forcing myself to take it short and slow while I re-acclimate to the rower. It’s easy to mess yourself up, and my back muscles are definitely having to re-adjust to the exercise.

But pain points is also a term of art in marketing for the user experience. If you’re trying to make something that sells, you ideally want it to solve a problem. So you look for things that people experience that are, well, pains. Then you present a solution to the problem. The term also swings into use with direct user experience and quality control — if I’m a restaurant, a pain point might be how long it takes people to get seated.

A lot of this work to date has been about pain points. Looking for things in sobriety, diet and exercise that make me say “too much” or “too hard” or “too tricky” and stop. Finding ways to get past those, or work around them.

Pain points are good

And it’s good to have these things, because they point to improvements. If everything were smooth and perfect, everything would also be static. Eventually stagnant. So it’s good that I’m noticing things that need to change, because that means change is going to happen.