Day 791: My Sober Wife

Great news, everyone! It’s been a month now and she now feels okay and solid with me sharing it; my wife has decided to take the not-drinking plunge as well.

There are varied reasons, and it’s a bigger step for her than it is for me, socially, as she had (and has) a lot of connections that intersect between women and beer. But there were some medical factors in play, and ultimately it was the decision she made — not me, I stress.

Am I overthinking it? Of course! Overthinking ‘R’ Us over here. I feel great that she’s made the choice, but still feel like my example was a factor and not 100% a positive one. I tried my best to not be all ex-smoker about it, but I worry that it might have been inadvertent.

I am, however, thrilled that she’s on this journey with me, and I’m seeing her seeing the things that started leaping out at me in the first six months. Particularly how pervasive booze is. You can’t turn on a TV show or a movie without people going for drinks. You can’t read a magazine without seeing advertising. It truly is everywhere.

She’s in the toughest months right now, so support is super important. I’m happy she’s choosing this, and happy to be there for her.

Day 279: Bachelor Week Concludes

My last day of flying solo! And I have to say: it’s not for me. I think it’s not an uncommon thing for married people to think they’re still kind of “single people who choose to commit.” Which is fair. But I’ve certainly learned this week that I’m not somebody who snaps into singledom easily.

Which is a good thing! It’s just something to wrap my head around. Sobriety went fine, but I have not been great about exercise this week. I’ve had kind of a not super great relationship with games and TV. Diet has been… fine, but not superb.

I think there’s a lot of passive support that goes on. I mean, she doesn’t nag me, doesn’t get on to me, but I think both of us angling toward the same goals reinforces us.

So it’ll be good to be back to normal! It’s not a super easy thing to acknowledge, though. I think there’s a kind of a fantasy that one is a super independent person that don’t need nobody for nothin’. But it turns out that I kind of do need somebody for somethin’. And it’s nice.