Day 900: Unversary, Canoeing is the New Canoeing

GREAT time in a canoe this morning. If “Great Time In A Canoe” isn’t some sort of Canadian album name, it should be. Herons were flying, fish were jumping, terns were fishing; the whole goddamn canoe experience.

Still rockin’ the doldrums. The canoeing helps, but it’s obviously not a whole cure. I’ve set an appointment with my GP for next week to see if there’s some insight there; the conventional route is therapy, but when I contacted a therapist, she said to do the GP thing first as there are other tests — thyroids and stuff — that also might be causing this.

Day 656: Up Late Friend Time!

Stayed up super late last night! Hanging out with a friend. And I know I’ve been banging on a lot lately about having to get back on my game, and sleeping in and not exercising is kind of the opposite of that, but actually hanging out with people is good therapy, too.

My friend Michael has recommended a therapy approach that I’m kind of interested in exploring — I’ve heard it advertised on other podcasts, too. I’m checking out BetterHelp, which is kind of a spot-therapy program (I think — I’m checking it out!) done remotely rather than in a local office. It’s in a space where I like a lot of these ideas, and I like the general convenience of it, but I’m also kind of invested in the idea of spending money in ways that stay in my community. I want to take a poke at it, though.


Day 655: Getting Going

Arrgh! Late sleep today, so no exercise and running behind in myriad other ways. One result of yesterday’s “I should take another run at therapy” note is that I have no idea how to find a therapist!

There’s a Catch-22 here: I need a therapist to help me contend with the fact that I’m overworking and not managing that well. But finding a therapist is starting to seem like work itself: research, listing names, making contact, trial sessions, etc. Ugh.

Focusing on today: no/little exercise, so I need to pack a lunch carefully and track food for the day; work is going to run a bit late but I should be home in reasonable time this evening, which is good — coursework to do.

Just keeping the head down and soldiering on seems to be the order of the day, while watching diet and thinking about a strategy to get myself therapized.


Day 654: The Two-Month Slump

Ugh, make that FOUR months. I think I’ve been semi-off-my-game since JULY. Not a horrorshow, but if I had to track back to a general sense of creeping malaise, it would be around the Canada Day weekend when I felt like I was out of steam in a very broad and abiding sense.

It’s this weird liminal space where I’m still productive and forward thinking and motivated to do things, sometimes, but there’s more of a bedrock of meh that I get down to quickly.

I’ve done therapy before, and it might be time to go back to that well — there’s nothing super concerning here. But that’s part of the problem. I’m not super concerned about my wellbeing, but I’m also not jazzed about anything, and haven’t been for a few months now.

With a week of vacation/remove, it’s easy to see that it’s that there’s too much on my plate; I need to cut back on stuff and actually spend more time decompressing. Managing the guilt of not doing stuff then becomes its own challenge… hence the therapy!

There are times in life when it’s good to go to somebody whose job is to help you figure out life stuff in exchange for money. I think it’s time to roll back into the therapy thing again!