Day 930: Tired!

I’ve been sleeping solid, but yesterday and today (so far) it’s just been impossible to keep my eyes open. What’s up? I’ve been exercising but in the low half of the spectrum — 5k rows, 6k runs, not the 10ks I used to do. Sleep’s actually been solid, even though it’s been hot. So why am I wiped out?

This might just be a matter of grabbing a nap today. We’ll see if I can knock this out.

Day 754: Tired!

Somebody told me I look tired yesterday, and I have been feeling a little run down. A bit sick, quite busy at work — but also, when I think about it, I am deliberately starving myself. Not in an injurious way — I think there’s a distinction between starving myself and starving myself to death, but either way, I’m depriving myself of nutrition to lose weight. That’s starving, baby!

I don’t feel exceptionally tired — just kind of run down periodically — but it’s an interesting thing to think about. I’m starving myself on purpose. For a good cause, but still. Hm.

Day 532: Sober Revelry!

Pride yesterday in Kingston, and a couple of gay friends came over yesterday evening to hang out. There was revelry! Tremendous revelry. Sobriety continued to be a non-problem, but I got to bed pretty late — and my wife headed out with our friends for continued revelry. It was fine, but I kind of stayed up and waited for her to get in. I didn’t need to do it, I know, but I also sorta couldn’t help it.

So super late night last night. Obviously no hangover today, but running really late, and feeling kinda funky.


Day 444: Sweat Out the Blues / Only Eat Meals

Another “I’m tired” day yesterday — just wiped — but I’ve decided to lean the other way this morning, and gave it 100% on the rowing machine. Posted my best 30-minute row in a few years, and the best 5k row inside that.

And I feel pretty good!

Motivation is a mystery to me. Some mornings I can wake up and just get into it. Some mornings I can’t. Some evenings I can resist snacks easily. Some evenings I can’t. A friend, who keeps up with me on the podcast, asked me “how much do you eat?” The answer is not that much! Just more than I should!

That’s got me thinking.

My food problem is similar to my drinking problem. It’s not that I eat a large pepperoni pizza every day. I don’t crazy binge (often). I just eat a bit more than I should, a bit more often than I should.

I can quit drinking. I can’t quit eating. And it’s not, like, one small category of food that’s problematic. I can quit sugar, but then I eat salt.

The best thing to do, and I know I’ve tried this before, is to stop eating outside meals. I have three meals a day. That’s it. I keep track of what I eat and I certainly don’t starve myself, but I just have three meals every day.

Once more into that breach, I guess. I need to print and update my evening checklist anyway (I no longer take my phone up as an alarm, for one thing) so I’ll add “did I snack?” as a thing. That’ll keep me honest in the evenings and at least shame me into better behaviour over time. One hopes.

Day 442: Really, really tired

What’s up with this? I don’t know why — I have a few guesses, though — but I am SUPER TIRED this morning. Like “critical emergency” tired. As wiped out as I’ve ever been. I got to bed on time, slept like a log, woke up more or less at the right time, but UGH.

Dragged myself through half-assed exercise, grinding through the morning.

My best guess is some sort of lag from the weekend, and keeping up with my wife, who has been a ninja at adapting to this new work schedule. It’s also been a super productive weekend as well. Regardless. Any way you slice it, I’m tuckered out.

I did do the exercise, and I’m having a full day. Just… yeah. Wiiiiped out. No idea why. Tired as a… real tired guy.

So… power on through, I guess? Have a normal day and get to bed on time tonight? Nothing for it, but to do it. Yawn.

Day 429: Mini-Slump

Another day of just feeling tired, and very poor food resistance yesterday. I think I’m hitting one of those cyclical slumps, and I need to cycle out of it.

The Catch-22 is it’s hard to do better when I’m tired, and doing better is what’s required to make me less tired.

I can accept that there are ebbs and flows, as well. Yesterday was not a great day; in this moment, at this hour, I feel like today is not going to be a great day, but it’s in my control to make it as good a day as possible.

So today’s goal is not to beat myself up for having a not great couple of days. I had a great February, and I’m going to have a great March. I just need to take a couple of days of slack to get some energy back up, I think.

Day 334: Still Reaching for that Saddle

Holy cow, it’s turning into a rough week. Slept in today; the alarm went off, I got up, turned around, went back to bed. This is not really typical, as I’m usually pretty good about getting to exercise now. Today, though? Just not having it.

I don’t get into my wife’s STUFF on this, because it’s not my stuff. But it might be fair to say that she’s been having a rough few months, with a death in the family and a significant birthday. Helping each other through the tough times is part of what couples do, but there’s also an empathetic “when you’re down, I’m down” link there as well.

So I think there might be a bit of a Household Slump going on right now, that we’re going to have to dig out of together.

Running late, so that’s it for today — it’s time for us to activate our Wondertwin Powers or something. Ugh. Still tired.

Day 249: Oh, Sleep

Operation Don’t Get Up has proven its usefulness as a way to re-train the cat, but middle-of-the-night wakefulness is still a thing.

It was an interesting time, because it gave me a chance to try out some of my can’t-sleep strategies as discussed before:

  • Try meditation: check. Not really effective, but interesting — the problem is I’d kind of start getting into a bit of a neutral state. But then I’d get sleepy. And then my brain wouldn’t fall asleep, but relax enough to let the pressing thoughts back in. But it was interesting.
  • Organize myself. Actually pretty useful. I woke up this morning with a fairly clear morning laid out in my mind. I’ve got a systemic set of goals when I get to work. And while it didn’t shut down my busy brain, at least I feel like I got value out of it.
  • Stop relitigating fights with jerks on the Internet. This is a hard one, because it’s the intersection between my sense of justice, intellectual pride, and an emotional core. It’s weird — I really, really hang onto Internet fights, which should be the most trivial part of my day. There’s a whole thing about how I was pursuing a “don’t argue with people on the Internet” approach. But given what’s going on the the world today, I think passively accepting and thereby normalizing crappy behaviour is part of the problem. So I’m trying to be more vocal and to generally show that no, racism/misogyny/idiocy is not now okay. But I’m not super emotionally equipped to do that.

On the bright side, I’m getting to experiment with can’t-sleep strategies, instead of just not sleeping. And I didn’t get up for more than a few minutes, and that mostly to go to the bathroom.

Well, and check my email. But that’s kinda legit because work is pretty off the chain right now, and having a sitrep before lying back down was more helpful than harmful. I think.


Day 217: Post-18k lethargy

The 18k runs are going well. Today was the second. But the post-18k lethargy is already something I need to watch out for.

It’s great to get the big run in, and be back at the house before 8:30, but the post-run day is… well, I’m tired. So I’ve had breakfast and coffee and read some comic books, and I’m just now getting to this. But I’ve still got a whole day ahead of me, and life doesn’t stop when you’ve run 18 kilometres. You just kind of feel like it can.

Post-18k lethargy settles in because you say “hey, I’ve already run 18k. I can eat, sleep, or do whatever I want. 18k, baby!”

But that’s not true. The exercise is there to enhance your life, not… own it. Or something.

So I need to find the balance between post-exercise satisfaction and laziness. Because it would be real easy to spend a day with video games and comic books and sparkling water. But stuff’s gotta get done, post-18k lethargy or not.

So I’m trying to figure out post-run fatigue. There must be ways to keep my energy up, or restore it, after a long run. Naps are probably a good idea… it’s just kind of weird to me to nap before noon. Naps are an early afternoon thing, to my thinking.

So maybe it’s power through the morning and do some house stuff… food projects, laundry, audio editing — then grab an hour of sleep after lunch, and see how the afternoon treats me.

Post-18k lethargy will soon be post-half-marathon lethargy. If all goes well. I need to start thinking ahead to winter runs… I’d love to keep this up year round, if I can find a way to beat the ice when the weather turns. The idea of a half-marathon on Sundays every few weeks sounds really good to me, if I can get to that level and sustain it.