Day 115: Drinkjacked! (Again)

Twice in two weeks! Last time around I called it being a “booze hostage,” last night the phrase in mind was “drinkjacked.”

The situation: I’m not drinking. My partner is not not drinking. Social occasion — volunteer thing at a bar. She orders a beer for her and our friend. They drink. Then he orders a beer for both of them. 

The event is close enough to wrapping up that you can get out.

But the beer’s still there.

So if it’s late, and you’re tired, and you just want to go home and go to bed, you’re left with a bunch of crap choices:

  1. Abandon your wife to walk home alone, drunk, in the dark, you monster
  2. Leave and tell her to take a cab home, making what was supposed to be a zero-budget evening more expensive still, and getting Bad Husband points
  3. Stay and rush somebody who has already had a pint of high-gravity beer chug a second
  4. Stay and try to be pleasant while exhausted and increasingly pissed off, patiently waiting for her to finish her beer
  5. Ask her to dump the beer so you can go the hell home

…in retrospect, I wish I’d thought of the last one. I opted, obviously, for the “wait and be irritated” option.

And you can’t have a conversation about this, because tipsy people are the absolute worst to have a conversation with. And again, you’re tired and not really up for an argument.

Getting drinkjacked is the worst, socially

I love hanging out with my drinking friends. They know I’m not drinking. They’re down with it. But I can leave my drinking friends.

So this is a partner-specific problem, and I expect it happens in any partnership where one person is a drinker and the other person isn’t.

I guess I’m going to have to up my pre-negotiation game, and establish clearer ground rules about when I’m out. Maybe mentally slot taxi fare into any leaving-the-house venture. I don’t know.