Day 135: Softball and routines

Have you ever signed on for something that you almost immediately had misgivings about? I’m up for the first game for our workplace softball team tonight. And I’m a bit anxious.

A bit anxious about the softball. I’m… not good. I’m in reasonably good shape, despite being overweight. But it’s kind of “distance running” good shape, not “athletic feats” good shape. If you know what I mean. So while the softball league is super casual and supposed to be fun, social anxiety does drive a fear of embarrassment there.

A bit anxious about sobriety. Again, not so much. I’ve got it in the bag, I think. I’m comfortable telling people I’m not drinking. My workmates are cool. But it’s going to be another drinking factor in my life. And while I’m okay with not drinking when others are, surrounding myself with it is not great.

Mostly about sleep. The games theoretically run from 7 to 8:30, which means I’ll be home by 9-9:30, asleep by 10. That’s still enough time to get seven hours before a 5 a.m. wake-up to run. But it’s still a late night for me. It’s going to be hard to stay on the checklist and maintenance.

If you can’t get out of it, get into it.

That’s something I picked up from the Happier podcast, back when I was listening to it. It’s good advice. I’ve signed up for softball, and while I have reservations, I’m going to be the softest softballer that ever balled a softball. There’s a whole lot wrong with that sentence.

But I signed up for it. And I signed up to be part of a team. And a team of people I work with. So it’s incumbent on me to give it my all, and if I have concerns, leave them, well, off the field.

So: softball tonight! I will softball. I will be the softballiest.