Day 136: Practice

So it turns out I’m really bad at softball. I mean, I’m not surprised by this news. But you always go into these things thinking “maybe I’ve got a undiscovered knack for this!” and hoping that you might turn out to be pretty gifted. So practice is the question on my mind today.

I’m not gifted.

I’m… ungifted. Anti-gifted. What’s the opposite of a gift? I’m indebted.

The good news, on the sobriety front, is that it doesn’t seem to be a “beer after the game” group. So no new social pressures to go hang out with drinking people and have awkward conversations. Hooray!

The other good news is that of the dozen of us, maybe two are good players, another two are halfway competent or naturally gifted, and more than half of us are also kludges. So I’m not, like, the mascot. And we all have a pretty good time. Lots of laughter.

But yes, one of the takeaways is that my softball skills are not on point. Softball, as it turns out, has a mercy rule: eight runs ends a team’s at-bat. So we only lost, er, by 48-5. I hit the ball each time I was at bat! There’s something.

To practice or not to practice?

I took this on as a Tuesday evening commitment only. But after our performance last night, a few of us want to get together to practice. Lunchtimes, maybe after work on Fridays. Throw the ball around. Bat. That stuff.

And I’m now in the conflict of I’m doing something and I’m bad at it and I want to be good at it, versus I have too much on my plate as it is. 

I’m probably making this all heavier than it needs to be. A less neurotic person would say “do it when you feel like it.” That’s probably good advice. But that’s not how I’m wired — I have to plan and commit, or it probably won’t happen.

It’s not a question I’m going to answer right now, but it’s on my mind today.