Day 189: Cool Cool Sleep

What a difference a day and some thundershowers make. The heat and humidity broke yesterday, and left us with perfect sleeping weather. Cool cool sleep. It’s lovely. Well, almost lovely: the increased water regime has left me having to get up a few times in the night, which is suboptimal. I’m expecting my body will adjust.

Drinking 4L of water on a Saturday was less difficult than I expected. Just a matter of keeping an eye on the clock and mentally reminding myself to drink a cup, which is not that much, really, if I hadn’t in an hour or so. My folks are in town, so we all went out for dinner, too. This is actually a great opportunity to chug a ton of water if you look at it the right way. They keep filling it up!

Cool cool sleep and lukewarm sobriety

I’m hoping better rest will bolster my mental defenses. It’s been a weird few days for sobriety. Nothing terrible — not white-knuckling or anything — but it’s been “surgey” lately. “Hey, maybe it’s time to have a drink” kind of stuff.

And the rough part about not really having a capital-P problem is I probably could. I don’t have things bad to the point where I smell a grape and wake up in Mexico next to a crashed bus full of dead Dobermans. My wife tries a new beer, I sip it. I can deal. So surely, booze brain says, I can handle a whole beer?

But, as the really experienced sobernauts say, “play the tape forward.” It’s like skipping exercise for a day. It quickly becomes two, three, etc.

And at the end of the day, I’m happy. I’m happy not drinking. I’m happy right now. And I’ve been happy drinking, too, but I distinctly remember not being happy about my drinking.

So if I’m happy not drinking, and equally or less happy drinking, why not choose the option that’s healthier, less expensive, and ultimately less stressful?

That’s what I have to keep in mind when these little surges, er, surge.

Anyway: hopefully better rest will help reinforce the part of me that doesn’t let the niggling temptations pop up.