Day 190: Drunk partner sobriety

Ugh. This is gonna lead to awkward conversations at home later. But it’s a thing that happens with sober people, so it’s worth talking about. Drunk partner sobriety. It’s rough.

When you’ve opted out of alcohol, but your partner tends to lean into alcohol. When you’ve got company. In the kind of “I haven’t had drink much too too, you’ve had too drink much much” way. There’s a stacked awkwardness. When you’re both drinking, you can say “hey, maybe you’re a little past the line” without seeming judgmental. But when you’re sober… hoo boy. It’s kinda rough.

Because you don’t want to be one of those former smoker anti-smoking zealots. Remember when that was a thing? And when you’re already vegetarian/vegan, you live on the knife edge of people getting angrily defensive at you just for saying you don’t eat meat. So I’m already in a world where people assume I’m judging, when I’m just passively being myself. I’m not looking to stack more judging on top of that.

So you get into this kind of people are glancing at each other space. And you don’t want to say anything, because then it’s gonna get emotional and fighty. And also all of the judging stuff.

There’s not really a solve here, except to wait until the next day and hopefully have a reasonable conversation about it. Still dicey. Still tough sledding.

The good news, for what it’s worth, is that it’s not a drinking trigger for me. It’s kind of an anti-trigger, really. In earlier days, I might feel a bit motivated to get “revenge drunk,” which is crazy, but it was something I felt.

Drunk partner sobriety just makes me embarrassed and mad and a bit tired.

So it’s off to drink a ton of water and figure out exercise for the day. And have some very tense conversations. Eek.