Day 249: Oh, Sleep

Operation Don’t Get Up has proven its usefulness as a way to re-train the cat, but middle-of-the-night wakefulness is still a thing.

It was an interesting time, because it gave me a chance to try out some of my can’t-sleep strategies as discussed before:

  • Try meditation: check. Not really effective, but interesting — the problem is I’d kind of start getting into a bit of a neutral state. But then I’d get sleepy. And then my brain wouldn’t fall asleep, but relax enough to let the pressing thoughts back in. But it was interesting.
  • Organize myself. Actually pretty useful. I woke up this morning with a fairly clear morning laid out in my mind. I’ve got a systemic set of goals when I get to work. And while it didn’t shut down my busy brain, at least I feel like I got value out of it.
  • Stop relitigating fights with jerks on the Internet. This is a hard one, because it’s the intersection between my sense of justice, intellectual pride, and an emotional core. It’s weird — I really, really hang onto Internet fights, which should be the most trivial part of my day. There’s a whole thing about how I was pursuing a “don’t argue with people on the Internet” approach. But given what’s going on the the world today, I think passively accepting and thereby normalizing crappy behaviour is part of the problem. So I’m trying to be more vocal and to generally show that no, racism/misogyny/idiocy is not now okay. But I’m not super emotionally equipped to do that.

On the bright side, I’m getting to experiment with can’t-sleep strategies, instead of just not sleeping. And I didn’t get up for more than a few minutes, and that mostly to go to the bathroom.

Well, and check my email. But that’s kinda legit because work is pretty off the chain right now, and having a sitrep before lying back down was more helpful than harmful. I think.