Day 451: Maintaining

There’s not much to report, because things have been going quite well. Work is as always a little nuts; one reason for the rush is I have to get in early to Deal With Stuff. All good news, just good news that requires work. “Positive stress,” if you will.

I’ve been rocking it on food the last few days, but hunger becomes palpable in the mid-afternoon. Not, like, genuine deep hunger but that “I want to eat something” feeling. Powering through it instead of getting a snack at work or on the way home or when I get home is… really challenging, actually. It’s reminding me of the original stop-drinking phase when there was a kind of routine nag in the back of my head about what I’d normally do to ease discomfort.

It’s taken me a year to get from working hard to get over booze to working hard to get over food. Not that I’ll ever stop working to get over booze; it’s still a pretty constant temptation, especially now that I’ve “beaten” it — that’s just a different vector of temptation. Food, on reflection, is much the same. A few days really on top of a regimen and my brain starts saying “ahh, you got this on lock, let’s eat a bag of cookies.”

“Perpetual vigilance forever” is a terrifying concept, but maybe that’s what it takes. Active, aggressive vigilance until the vigilant behaviour becomes the norm. It sure doesn’t happen quickly.