Day 473: Staying Focused

It’s been challenging to stay on track this week — in fact, I think I can assert that I’ve been off-track with food, more or less okay with exercise. Sobriety has kind of gotten into my bones: I’ve been having a pretty flat/low week emotionally, but I haven’t even thought about drinking. It’s just coming up now because I was mentally running through the four pillars of exercise, food, sobriety and sleep.

It’s good to remind myself that this is periodic and cyclical, and one of the costs of being “up” and energetic most of the time is that I do hit these lulls.  It’s also kind of comforting to remember that. I don’t recall the last time I hit this kind of blah period — I feel like it was last November/December — but if the price to pay for being, well, me most of the time is being a little bit of a reduced me for a week or so periodically, I’m happy to pay it.

I’m choosing to look at this as a “charge cycle” rather than “something is wrong.” I run at 110% a lot of the time — I think I overachieve as a routine thing — so periodic drops down to, I don’t know, 60-70% are probably necessary.

At any rate, I’m in “ride this out” mode. Exercise was good this morning, and I’m feeling I think a little less meh than yesterday, so hopefully I’m turning the corner on this thing.

50% “ride it out,” 50% “fake it til you make it” — method acting also helps. If I can make myself act cheerful, I usually wind up feeling a bit more cheerful as well. So I’m’a grab a cup of joe and head briskly to work — seeming upbeat is often the key to feeling more upbeat.