Day 640: Ambition Is My Deadliest Weapon, And Fatal-est Flaw

Short one today, largely because I’ve just spent 90 minutes cracking away at a volunteer project — the radio podcast thing. I sometimes ask myself why I’m doing this, but in the end, it’s because it’s good. It’s deeply satisfying from a “building something from nothing” perspective, I do enjoy the work itself, and, frankly, I’m ambitious.

“Be of good use” is the Cider House Rules aphorism that has stuck with me through the years (I’m beginning to think it’s not even that phrase, actually), and it’s a pretty constant driver. I’m ambitious in the sense that I want to leave a positive mark on the world. I want to know I’ve done things that have changed things. And in a modest way, this project is that.

I’m not always sure that much drive toward things that are, in all honesty, ancillary to my actual life are really healthy, though. There’s probably research on this, on volunteerism and happiness and balance, that I could look into. I’m just too busy with the volunteerism to do it! That’s your Catch-22 for today.