Day Fifty-Nine: Okay, Not Obsessing Is Kind of Hard

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Okay, you know how I had this whole weighing myself strategy? The daily “just a number” thing that I’m supposed to put out of my mind and not worry about?

Yeah. That’s harder than I thought.

I’ve been doing the weighing, which is stellar, and pats on the back for me. But the “fuggedaboutit” part of that weighing is not going as it should.

Folks, I am obsessing a bit. Just a bit.

Obsessing is kind of a default state.

Stuff gets in my head. I’ve lost sleep over irate Facebook comments. Imagined arguments that I haven’t had yet and probably never will, prey on me. I get head-loops of stuff all the time that are hard to shake.

So I should have known that this weight thing would not be as “fire and forget” as I set it up to be.

I’m going to persist; I don’t have any other ideas or better plans.

But I’m checking in to let you know that it’s not as easy to do the “just a number, forget it” thing as I thought it might be. I thought with that setup, I’d be poised to just log and disregard. I underestimated my brain’s ability to latch on.

While we’re on the subject of things that aren’t going perfectly, I’ve been slipping on the check-outs, too. They’ve become perfunctory rather than moments of focus.

So: some things to work on. It’s like the old “don’t think of an elephant” thing — focusing on putting something out of my head feels counterproductive. But I need to work on it. So I guess I’ll… un-work on it? Huh?